Here’s your Sign

Good Ole Boys … Gone Bad

Originally published February 21, 2020

We find our two worthies, bumping along the Bells Island causeway in Bubba’s old blue pickup…

“Well, I see campaign season is upon us, once again”, Bubba observed.

LeRoy responding, in somewhat sarcastic fashion, “Oh, how could you
tell?”

Trying not to read too much into the sarcastic tone of his friend, Bubba
answers “by the bumper crop of campaign signs in bloom, perhaps?”

LeRoy chuckled at his good friends rather astute powers of observation as
the old blue pickup turns the corner onto Caratoke Highway.

“They sure are colorful this time around”, Bubba continues.

That they are”, LeRoy agreed, “some of these candidates put forth quite the
artistic endeavor, I see.”

The pair whizzed by another cluster of signs as the old truck sped south on
the main highway.

LeRoy quizzed his buddy, “so do you have a favorite color?”

“Don’t you mean do I have a preferred candidate?” Bubba eyeballed his buddy.

LeRoy laughed aloud – “nope, I was strictly inquiring as to your
appreciation of the aesthetic and artistic nature of the signage.”

“You know, I’ve never really thought about it”, Bubba opined, continuing, “I guess
some could be a distraction, while others would actually catch your eye.”

“All flash – no substance…”, Bubba observing a popular adage.

“I thought that saying was “All style, no substance””, LeRoy corrected.

“You know that’s what I meant”, Bubba replied in terse fashion.

“Why, that would imply the existence of style in the subject”, LeRoy
observed.

Bubba grumbled as LeRoy continued

“I think the word you are looking for is tacky ? or perhaps gaudy? Kitchy?
splashy?” LeRoy finished flexing his ample lexicon.

“Kitchy?”, Bubba questioned.

“Yeah you know – garish : flashy and tasteless”, LeRoy explained.

Bubba replied, “Well aren’t you just Mr. Roget today?”

“Definitely anything but dowdy”, LeRoy interjected – continuing “- as I recall
that means frumpy and plain – like an ‘old maid’.”

Bubba agreed, adding “Those pink ones are anything but frumpy – garish yes;
frumpy no.”

“I’d be closer to saying they were bawdy”, Bubba chuckled.

LeRoy nodded, “rather ecdysiastic, eh?”

Bubba drew a blank on that one, gazing at his friend with a blank stare.

“Like one of the old timey ‘bump-and-grinders’ – ‘a peeler‘ – you know, a stripteuse”,
LeRoy explained.

Bubba chuckled, “you got me there – yeah those pink ones could lead one to
believe there is a burlesque queen running for something.”

They both shared a hearty laugh as the neared the bustling ‘burg of
Coinjock.

Changing perspective, “I know one thing, some of those signs need to be
registered as a deadly weapon”, Bubba stated in serious fashion.

“How do you mean?” LeRoy quizzed.

Bubba explained, “I drove by a couple the other day when the nor’easter was
howling, and those things were spinning about like a windmill.”

LeRoy got wide-eyed, imagining the scene.

Bubba closed, “I had to hustle away, fearing for my life that the dang thing
would come off it’s metal hangar and launch at me like some kind of weapon.”

LeRoy added, “Well you could always hope those candidates have good
liability insurance to cover such occurences.”

The pair laughed out loud, sharing another humorous observation.

The pair turned into Kevin’s store to grab a ham biscuit and sweet tea.

Up Next : Everybody’s on the Run